....

So 18 hours past since then, feeling sick, feeling really insecure only by the thought of what u said. well... the thing is , i wish i no one was in my life, even S, but then, then it would be so empty. he is a power, he is a real power u cant imagine, i cant imagine, he doesnt know, he thinks i am powerful, oh, if u just knew.. and i insist i am better off without anyone. u deserve more things , u really deserve another person, and u def shouldnt put up with all my ups and downs, yes indeed its like i am cursed, it is a curse. feeling really lost, after listening to all these sweet little words of yours, so honest yet so , far away from me , i cant think like u do, i do not have a story to tell, nor i can feel this utopia ... its just not me anymore , it was , before , now its like a reckless ship listening to your genuine feelings filling me up until the core and yet i am deaf, deaf as a cadaver. u deserve more , way more than what u think, u are young , i am too but i am young in a different way... u will eventually remove all the highlights upon me , and there before your eyes i will stand naked, as naked as u never saw me ... u will figure out, then yes