...

Oh well,

and i promised i would never let myself write about anything stupid and useless, and here i am really frustrated for having accepted so submissively a criticism i have never ever tasted and sensed before. From you, oh god , this is just unacceptable, i dont know how can i possibly be calm and write. anyway. i always figure out what an expectantly true genuine asshole u are. am i so fucking tolerant ?
yes i am with u, i have put up a lot. well the shittiest part is figuring out that you are partially correct, about everything.
aren't they  sweet these childhood moments, and u havent even tasted them, because of your choices.

what the hell are u talking about ? i am fine thank you sir , and i need no guidance from you, i am fine as i am.

why dont you go out ?

apparently darling i am stuck here doing something i love and i dont........

who i am blaming ?

who am i really blaming ?

who is the fault ?

oh stop bubbling all over.

i am fine . i have someone beside me that loves me , a love u could never imagine nor taste nor understand, and u are criticising me, when yr life is such a mess , so fucked up....u are fucked up alone , and u are referring to me. i have someone by my side, something i thought i would never succeed having.. and here u are , knowing nothing about it, jealous ? who knows , it would be such an irony finding out u even had the perception that this word even existed. so give me a break mr Big. i have to diminish u , god do i sound so so so....  , like i sounded 5 years ago , or each time i said i would let go. well apparently i will at some point, u discuss me. and then after this point of view that i stated , most naturally would be the ensue of an idea , a picture arousing in my little brain (u cat even imagine what kind of anatomical things i am spinning around the term brain ) , well the idea was one day u would see me with this boy i have beside me and i would be happy showing u ... instead if something like that happened i would prefer  killing myself . and i dont even know why. such a hirony. and now please if u please dcc go back to where u belong , and to what makes u calm. the funniest part is that i called the boy i love and i was angry and he understood, he loved me even more, he listened, he was there , he wanted me to call him again, he was t o l e r a n t. something u will never cherish. and as i said , i am really lucky for having S by my side. and oh god i wish we will last. not to prove anything but , to learn holding on to something real, something palpable , something entirely not you.

oh well.....

have a good night,

Dcc